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Leaving Los Banos

by c'est dommage

/
1.
Say what you will about the 19 but the cops never get on, it picks me up right in front of work, and gets me to the Civic Center faster than Ande does. I mean, that is, if it comes. And if not, I suppose I could just wal
2.
oh, come now 02:57
Oh how rare a sight, arms spread wide, with hands as spires, not bleeding, to say this time, 6:45, it’s alright, it’s fine. All that’s left is coffee and a Steam for Ryan. Come on now. You want to take this from me? Or us, let’s not think selfishly. Oh come now. Can you really believe that these scattered crumbs warrant fealty. Come on, take this down. We were all so fed on land that we set upon, settled on and sown, not there to be our own. We stood in crowds, hunched around some tome. Not written for us, not light, not home. It’s a sucking sound falling out, full blown through an ear past hope. I can’t even recall the last time we sat huddled in the abyss, with so much time. Light, limber, not supine and who would have thought that we all could die. Come on now. You want to take this from me? Or us, let’s not think selfishly. Oh come now. Can you really believe that these scattered crumbs warrant fealty. Come on now. Come down.
3.
reservations 02:46
How the legs run? Still strained, still straight, still holding up. When will the break come? How do the arms move? So bruised, so cut, so beaten up. Never useless. I won’t let the limbs fall off. I won’t wait for endings. I won’t let the last fall down. I won’t accept the carrot. With that said, let’s be very clear. I traded youth for this and to say I’m cheated does no justice. Lying like January and new and change and once again, lying. rough a March the blood, the scars were not our faults, despite so many. I won’t let the limbs fall off. I won’t wait for endings. I won’t let the last fall down. I won’t accept the carrot. You know wh
4.
Recycle the verse. Take time to learn the lines word for word. As all of the years trickle down you find you’re waiting on lost returns. It’s a long drive towards what you thought was right. You were not want for words but could never call. Tangled but terse, thought it lost, it was in a locked drawer. Enlightening words from the film and you’d found, no, you had not wanted a son. Entangled in terms, the cost was much more than a locked jaw. Enlightening verse from the pew and you’d found, no, you had not wanted a son. It’s a short ride to where we know we’re right. You had not wanted us but here we are. Tangled but terse, thought it lost, it was in a locked drawer. Enlightening words from the film and you’d found, no, you had not wanted a son. Entangled in terms, the cost was much more than a locked jaw. Enlightening verse from the pew and you’d found, no, you had not wanted a son.
5.
A basement with a half dirt floor, a rusted out iron gate to hem in a porch or sorts. is place called home despite where you live. An empty seat in the public library downtown, tucked away in a corner, hidden amongst the stacks of non-fiction on the fourth floor. A rented room, cracked walls, a broken radiator falling through the floor. is couch is a bed, or a bed on the floor. Checkered pasts, outstanding warrants, a kitchen table littered with unpaid bills to keep company with the eviction notice. Forgotten authors placed precariously atop overstuffed bookshelves and everything we have never need but cannot live without. Board games with pieces missing, reflecting the lives we lead and the rules changed to meet our needs. is is what we are, and what we are not is no longer relevant.
6.
the c'mel 04:16
Don’t let it show when they all come down to frown upon the ark that you have engineered. And oh, let it sink in slow and flood the skulls with a sound that they had never known. A simple frame cannot contain what your little grey cells could hold, so let it stew and blow the minds of those architects and engineers. Don’t let ‘em doubt or say you’re done. We did not think about it when all the doctors said that you were coming undone. Don’t let the chatter make you numb. We would not think about it when all the voices said that you were done. Don’t let ‘em know when they come to call your hand that you’ve gone all in on this. And oh, let it sink real slow and flood the hull ‘till they’re neck deep. ey will never show that their single frame did not contain all the words you know. So let it stew and blow the minds of those architects and engineers. Don’t let ‘em doubt or say you’re done. We did not think about it when all the doctors said that you were coming undone. Don’t let the chatter make you numb. We would not think about it when all the voices said that you were done. All we have is what’s here, what you’ve built is real, and what that song had said is unclear but I think I’ve got the meaning.
7.
Straight up the Golden State Highway from Manteca. Exit at Waterloo. East Harding, North Wilson, across the street from the AutoZone. We’re talking the agricultural center of the country. Linden, Escalon down to Ceres. is is where the people live. No, not Pacific University, not the Haggin Museum. La Gente, Les Habitants. We’re talking the agricultural center of the country. Wrap your mind around that one.
8.
Brilliant lights strewn across a desolate landscape, made new by night. Brilliant lights, by day a burned out wasted mess of brick and iron. All the fronts lie down defeated and all the clocks expired. All of the fronts lie down defeated and all the clocks expired. We can take our time.
9.
Nope
10.
Just steps from where 99 splits this valley wide the one time tricked out BMX glides smoothly past Blue Gum Ave. where the fields collide with housing sprawl, strip malls, big box stores, the Stop’N Save on Standiford, where we all go. We all go speeding past the Dollar General store, where you would have quit but they fired you for what we all know was a trumped up charge for what you never stole on the day we spent at the rented home, where we all go. We all go through the tracts, all the modern homes where they had no warrant and the cause was null but we all know. Yeah, we all know that you can take it from me, like you could take it back. You could take it from me, like we would take that. We all know what it’s like to have to take that joke. e shower gag never gets old. We all know what it’s like to have to take that joke. e sandal gag never gets old.

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Limited? to 221 12" records at 33RMP. Release date in late May 2020. Vinyl record available at www.fullyintercoastal.com

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released May 27, 2020

Recorded, November/December 2018 at Atomic Garden East with Jack Shirley. c'est dommage is Jeremy, Jerry, Langford and Pete.

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fullyintercoastal Oakland, California

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